Dating a woman with narcissistic personality disorder

  1. 5 Red Flags and Blind Spots in Dating a Narcissist
  2. 5 Red Flags and Blind Spots in Dating a Narcissist
  3. About the Author

Self-compassion also fosters real self-awareness, a trait many narcissists lack, as it promotes that we be mindful of our faults, which is the first step to changing negative traits in yourself. They need to focus on developing their capacity for empathy and respect of others. Being generous and giving to others are examples of behaviors that would be corrective, building real self-esteem and practicing focusing outside of oneself. I was a major victim of a Narcissist! It has destroyed my family, business, friends and now rolls into my current relationship.

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I was with her for 11 years — then we split for a while, I met someone else who was wonderful and I swore that I would never go back This is before I understood what a narcissistic was or that I was being so damaged. Unfortunently, I went back to the sick narcissistic person for a few weeks- and destroyed my new relationship. Then I found out more about a narcissist person. Why I would do such a thing? It was one of the biggest mistakes of my life to even do so.

Does anyone have any advice as to why a person would go back to a Narcissist? So, I keep trying to fix the situation as we move toward finalizing the divorce.

You are like me — a co-dependent. Most of us are attracted to what is comfortable and familiar- is it possible that one of your parents is a narcissist and that you were the co-dependent and this is why you are attracted to her? My last two relationships nearly destroyed me but finally opened my eyes to the fact that my mother is horribly mentally ill — a narcissist.

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5 Red Flags and Blind Spots in Dating a Narcissist

It was hard to see because it seems normal to me. The other thing that helped me stay away from narcissists was asking myself if I would want my daughters treated this way. Sounds odd but if you are a co-dependent and child of a narcissist, it iis easier to empathize about others than yourself. This is so true for me too, exactly. Dealing now with my own codependency. So painful to be lied to by these narracists. I am focusing on fixing up my emotional life and letting others take care of themselves.

A light just went off in my head reading your response. If I had a daughter… Would I want my daughter to be treated this way? My last boyfriend was most definitely a narcissist… I think I would have saved myself a lot of pain and self doubt if I had ever asked myself that. I feel I understand your situation and have had a lightbulb moment where I realised the problems associated with my narcissistic boyfriend actually stemmed from my childhood, primed by my narcissistic mother. I was conditioned to be a doormat and feel comfortable in this role.

I work for the va and hold the position of a first line supervisor in my department. I actually had to look up the definition of this disorder because my service chief has displayed these characteristics to the letter. I wont go into the details of it as there is not enough ink in the printer. Yes, that is wonderful. Instead of leaving and returning in a cycle that lasted months. I have just figured out what the relationship was.

I remembered about narcissism, googled it, and bingo, there it all is. And while for months and months I have been being increasingly logical and explaining emotions as if I were speaking to an alien do you see these tears?

5 Red Flags and Blind Spots in Dating a Narcissist

I knew it, and yet refused to know it. My only question is how will I know should it happen again with someone else? Someone as attractive and suitable intellectually and sexually, but absolutely not emotionally. I hope I will have more sense. I am looking at how my own issues prevented me from staying away, even though the facts were lined up clearly and I could see and articulate them. Wow, I thought I was in this alone. But my relationship resembles exactly what both of you have dealt with or are dealing with.

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After 10 years of marriage my wife and I divorced. When she was happy our life was great. But as the article states, when she got jealous or hurt she lashed out and would say some of the most hurtful things. And she would do it in front of our children. I would ask her to stop and not say things hurtful in front of our kids but she would look at them and tell them that they need to know that daddy is a nobody. I too feel like a prisoner in my own home. The crazy thing about being married to a narcissist for 26 years!

They choose people with low self esteem, and proceed to destroy their sense of self. I now realize that he has been cheating on me, and manipulating me and everyone around me, for 30 years. I have been married to a narcassist for 44 years but did not know this until I started researching 4 years ago! I am devastated at the time and energy that I have wasted just doing his bidding all the time and fighting for my own thoughts and independence.

He constantly blames me for mistakes he makes should I dare interrupt his work, he is arrogant dealing with people, he is grandiose, rude, petulant, argumentative and always right! His temper is scary altho he has never struck me. He thrives on living on the edge and takes advantage of people to gain image. He puffs up if the females around him come to talk to him because then he can boast about what he has done, where he has been, etc. He shuns all household chores altho if pushed will do some tidying up, shopping of help move things.

He arranges all travel and keeps his travel dates a secret until the last minute and I cannot plan anything for myself. Constant reminders bring forth retaliation. His family do not see what happens behind closed doors and think I cause a fuss. They think he is marvelous, talented and amazing. All the things which got me caught up with him now do not apply often in this house. Only conflict of his making day in and day out. At the age of 66 there is no hope or going back for me but I would advise anyone dealing with this issue to get out and never go back. They destroy you bit by bit.

Hi JB, I too am a victim of a narcissistic partner. I spent almost 5 years. It has completely devastated my life. I relocated my whole life to be with the one who I thought was the love of my life. Now, I am at a new place all alone because our relationship has ended. Of course, he blamed me, but the hurtful things that were said totally destroyed me. I figured I would give him his space for awhile, you went online and conversed with a girl for 3 weeks and now he is flying her in town 4hrs away — 55 min flight on the weekends.

I am lost and feel like I was punched in the face. Soooo, devastated and scarred from this.

3 Common Evils of Narcissistic Women

Totally changed my life completely. Not sure how to move on, I can barely get out of bed — I cry every day. I know my family and friends are getting tired of me dwelling. They all constantly tell me to move. I feel I was beaten to a pulp mentally. He constantly would tell me I have no substance in my life. I walked on eggshells — he belittled me to no end.

I wonder now, how long will the relationship last with his new girlfriend. This is going to be tough, especially living in a very small town.

About the Author

Just makes me so sick!!!! Never had such a horrific heartbreak!! I feel the blame for everithingt that happent. Even when he chated me i thought it was my fault.

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My self-esteem is so low now. Hi Sel, i have just found this page as i am currently going through some things myself. I see your post was uploaded earlier in the year. I hope you are feeling better now? Whenever you get down about things and think of him with other people, just remember the way he was with you is exactly the way he will treat them.

He is sick and unless he realises this and wants help, he will always be the same no matter who he is with. Even if they look happy in pictures, i assure you behind closed doors he will treat her the same after awhile. Just ask yourself how many people knew you were unhappy while you were with him?